I've noticed that I usually gripe on this blog. Maybe it was because I was pregnant (and now I'm a lot happier since we have a sweet little baby!) So today I wanted to share what made my day today.
We (husband, I, two little girls) were driving to a graduation party. At a stop light, I looked in the rearview mirror. The older gentleman driving his car was reading a book. I pointed this out to my husband. The light turned green. We went forward, and so did this older gentleman.
"He's still reading!" said my husband.
He was.
Then he put the book down and passed us. (In my 13-year-old car, I'm finally used to having old people pass me in their brand-new Buicks.)
It made my day.
My day hasn't been made like that since we were taking a walk on the bike path, and a man passed us on his skateboard. He had two dogs pulling him on leashes, and he was hollering and singing along. That was pretty awesome.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
What Not to Say...
Things NOT to say to THIS pregnant woman:
1- When are you going to have your baby? (I don't know!)
2- When are you due? Are you overdue? (No, some women just carry really far out, and I am one of those!)
3- Is it a girl or a boy? (I thought I've told you already. If not, I'm sure you've heard.)
4- Wow, you've just popped out all of a sudden! (Really? I've actually been showing for months!)
5- Every time I see you, you're bigger! (Ya, really sensitive.)
If it wouldn't be rude or tacky, I wish I could just carry around a sign, and pass out fliers with this information:
1- I am due this month! That's all you get to know.
2- It's a girl.
3- We don't know when she'll come.
4- No, we don't have a name picked out yet.
5- Yes, we're excited.
I learned from our first baby not to give out the exact due date. Our first was 12 days late, so everyone who knew the due date would say something annoying every time I saw them. Like, "oh, I thought you were due last week!" (I was, thanks for reminding me!) Or, "oh you poor thing, you're still pregnant! Hang in there!" (Well, what else can I do?) "When is that baby going to come?" (I DON'T KNOW!!)
Usually I think I'm an optimist, but pregnancy, and especially the last stages, make me feel more pessimistic than usual. Being pregnant means being conspicuous, which is one thing I've always tried to avoid. It's being at Wal-Mart, and hearing a woman say to her kids, "oh! (gasp) look at her!" And pointing. True story. It's the annoying kid in primary (at church) that points at me and shouts "are you going to have a baby?" and makes everyone look. Well really kid, did you think I was having a puppy? No wonder women used to go into confinement before their child was born. I would too if I could get away with it.
Apparently there was a woman from Tennessee on Yahoo news that didn't know she was pregnant until just hours before birth. Of course, some of the intelligent Yahoo users that commented made stupid, insensitive remarks. They're just idiots, because this lady is one of the luckiest people ever. To not know you're pregnant means that no one is asking you about it all the time! That's what I say.
1- When are you going to have your baby? (I don't know!)
2- When are you due? Are you overdue? (No, some women just carry really far out, and I am one of those!)
3- Is it a girl or a boy? (I thought I've told you already. If not, I'm sure you've heard.)
4- Wow, you've just popped out all of a sudden! (Really? I've actually been showing for months!)
5- Every time I see you, you're bigger! (Ya, really sensitive.)
If it wouldn't be rude or tacky, I wish I could just carry around a sign, and pass out fliers with this information:
1- I am due this month! That's all you get to know.
2- It's a girl.
3- We don't know when she'll come.
4- No, we don't have a name picked out yet.
5- Yes, we're excited.
I learned from our first baby not to give out the exact due date. Our first was 12 days late, so everyone who knew the due date would say something annoying every time I saw them. Like, "oh, I thought you were due last week!" (I was, thanks for reminding me!) Or, "oh you poor thing, you're still pregnant! Hang in there!" (Well, what else can I do?) "When is that baby going to come?" (I DON'T KNOW!!)
Usually I think I'm an optimist, but pregnancy, and especially the last stages, make me feel more pessimistic than usual. Being pregnant means being conspicuous, which is one thing I've always tried to avoid. It's being at Wal-Mart, and hearing a woman say to her kids, "oh! (gasp) look at her!" And pointing. True story. It's the annoying kid in primary (at church) that points at me and shouts "are you going to have a baby?" and makes everyone look. Well really kid, did you think I was having a puppy? No wonder women used to go into confinement before their child was born. I would too if I could get away with it.
Apparently there was a woman from Tennessee on Yahoo news that didn't know she was pregnant until just hours before birth. Of course, some of the intelligent Yahoo users that commented made stupid, insensitive remarks. They're just idiots, because this lady is one of the luckiest people ever. To not know you're pregnant means that no one is asking you about it all the time! That's what I say.
Friday, March 16, 2012
I Can Think for Myself
Do you ever feel like you have been rendered incapable by all of the capable, opinionated people that share their advice freely and sometimes thoughtlessly? When we moved into our new house, and intended to use a certain bedroom for our then-13-month, did anyone think it a good idea? After everyone had voiced their opinion about how a different room would be much better for her, I looked at my husband hopelessly and asked if we hadn't better put her in the room they all suggested. He shook his head and said, "no, let's still put her in the green room." Which we did. And that is the best room in the house for her too.
I admit that my inclination to follow everyone's opinion was partly based on a desire not to offend any of them by going against their better judgment. But after further reflection, isn't that silly? It is our new house, not theirs, and I am sure they have all forgotten about the issue now. The other part of my inclination was that I began to feel like they were all right, since there were so many of them against our original opinion. Sadly, I have often felt that way. If there has been a strong opinion thrown against mine, I generally feel like the other party must be right, and I therefore am wrong. This often happens. I am a terrible performer in an argument. Perhaps my character is one that people feel to be easily influenced, and so they glory in giving advice to me which they feel cannot be refused. It gives me a feeling of helplessness at times, and anger at other times, because I am quite able to manage myself without lots of "help" from others.
Sometimes people need to step back and allow others to think for themselves, and see what happens!
I admit that my inclination to follow everyone's opinion was partly based on a desire not to offend any of them by going against their better judgment. But after further reflection, isn't that silly? It is our new house, not theirs, and I am sure they have all forgotten about the issue now. The other part of my inclination was that I began to feel like they were all right, since there were so many of them against our original opinion. Sadly, I have often felt that way. If there has been a strong opinion thrown against mine, I generally feel like the other party must be right, and I therefore am wrong. This often happens. I am a terrible performer in an argument. Perhaps my character is one that people feel to be easily influenced, and so they glory in giving advice to me which they feel cannot be refused. It gives me a feeling of helplessness at times, and anger at other times, because I am quite able to manage myself without lots of "help" from others.
Sometimes people need to step back and allow others to think for themselves, and see what happens!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
A Difference in Senses of Humour
When I was at a local thrift store last week, I saw this baby potty and thought it was really cute and funny. I sent a picture to my husband so he could share the laugh with me. He smiled when he saw it, and said, "what's so funny about it?"
I simply think it's funny that you would need straps on a potty to keep the child on!! Doesn't anyone else? (Especially since I'm trying to get my little girl to stay on for longer than 5 seconds.)
I simply think it's funny that you would need straps on a potty to keep the child on!! Doesn't anyone else? (Especially since I'm trying to get my little girl to stay on for longer than 5 seconds.)
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Alone
I know there are people out there that can't stand being alone. I am related to several of them. However, there are people that prefer solitude, quiet, and even being alone. I'm afraid I'm like that, although I don't see that there's a problem with being either way. But isn't it strange that the sort of people who can't stand being alone think that everyone else is like them? Or that I am "weird" if I like my own company?
One winter's night several years ago, I was with a group of people taking a walk outside. We had strung out and I was walking alone, happily enjoying the beautiful stars, snow, river, trees, and mountains. Then someone slowed down to walk with me, and decided it was time to talk. Slightly irritated, I made it known that I had been enjoying my solitary stroll. They responded, "people who are alone all the time get weird! You need to have company!" Needless to say, this person is one who loves having people around.
Perhaps it is my fondness of reading that makes me enjoy quiet and seclusion. For one thing, it is difficult to read and be immersed in the story if people are too close and too loud, or too personal. For another, sometimes "book friends" are more interesting than real people. That's probably a bad thing to say. However, sometimes when real people don't have the time for you, book friends are always waiting to be picked up and explored. Kind of like your dog that is always ready for a walk.
Solitude isn't bad, and neither is being surrounded by others. You just have to measure them out. Or you might turn weird.
One winter's night several years ago, I was with a group of people taking a walk outside. We had strung out and I was walking alone, happily enjoying the beautiful stars, snow, river, trees, and mountains. Then someone slowed down to walk with me, and decided it was time to talk. Slightly irritated, I made it known that I had been enjoying my solitary stroll. They responded, "people who are alone all the time get weird! You need to have company!" Needless to say, this person is one who loves having people around.
Perhaps it is my fondness of reading that makes me enjoy quiet and seclusion. For one thing, it is difficult to read and be immersed in the story if people are too close and too loud, or too personal. For another, sometimes "book friends" are more interesting than real people. That's probably a bad thing to say. However, sometimes when real people don't have the time for you, book friends are always waiting to be picked up and explored. Kind of like your dog that is always ready for a walk.
Solitude isn't bad, and neither is being surrounded by others. You just have to measure them out. Or you might turn weird.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Don't Say I'm Shy
Many people tend to view a quiet person as "shy." Many also think this is a fault, and they think we don't know we have this "problem." Hence the comments I hear "you're so shy; you never talk!" Thanks, as if I didn't know I was quiet. Thanks, you just embarrassed me too. Why is it people seem to think they need to tell us about our "problem"? In polite society, you don't hear someone say to someone else at a party, "you're so fat, I don't think you should be eating." But no, you hear equivalents of "you're so shy. Why can't you talk more?"
I've tried. I've tried interjecting myself into group conversations around a dinner table or in someone's living room. Perhaps I'm too self-conscious, but it seems when I do get a word in edgewise, everyone is so shocked I said something that there is a momentary lull, no one laughs or responds to what I say, and then a person launches off quickly in a new direction. Lesson learned: just listen.
What is shyness? Dictionary.com says: 1- bashful; retiring. 2- easily frightened away; timid. 3- suspicious; distrustful. 4-reluctant; wary. I don't see any reference to being quiet. I think I'm a quiet person, but if I'm shy, I often wonder if it's because I've been labeled so much that I believe it. Perhaps I'm just a different type of person than "everyone else," but I know there are others out there like me. If the conversation is interesting to me, I do have something to say, but small-talk pleasantries actually wear me out. Having to sit there and smile at someone I don't really know, and think of polite, general things to say, is something I'd rather avoid.
An example: Thanksgiving Day a few years ago, and we were all home. I was 20 or so. My older sisters had each brought a friend with them, and they were all in the kitchen with my mom, laughing and talking. I had met the friends, and then retreated to hang out with my brothers. They didn't need me in the kitchen. What would I contribute anyway? Then I heard, "oh, she's in the other room. She's really shy." Meaning me. This from my outgoing, never-quiet sister who had no idea what her statement did to me. When I had to face the friends later at the dinner table, I felt like they were all thinking, "oh, that's the really shy sister. Better be kind and nice to her since she's 'different.' "
So in the future, if you come across someone who is quiet, don't assume they are shy, or stupid, or they can't think for themselves. (Some of us actually do more thinking, but less talking. When do the always-talking have time to think?) Be kind to us, but don't look down on us. Just be patient, and in time you may find that we can be really fun people, but we just have our guard up with strangers. And don't say we're shy.
I've tried. I've tried interjecting myself into group conversations around a dinner table or in someone's living room. Perhaps I'm too self-conscious, but it seems when I do get a word in edgewise, everyone is so shocked I said something that there is a momentary lull, no one laughs or responds to what I say, and then a person launches off quickly in a new direction. Lesson learned: just listen.
What is shyness? Dictionary.com says: 1- bashful; retiring. 2- easily frightened away; timid. 3- suspicious; distrustful. 4-reluctant; wary. I don't see any reference to being quiet. I think I'm a quiet person, but if I'm shy, I often wonder if it's because I've been labeled so much that I believe it. Perhaps I'm just a different type of person than "everyone else," but I know there are others out there like me. If the conversation is interesting to me, I do have something to say, but small-talk pleasantries actually wear me out. Having to sit there and smile at someone I don't really know, and think of polite, general things to say, is something I'd rather avoid.
An example: Thanksgiving Day a few years ago, and we were all home. I was 20 or so. My older sisters had each brought a friend with them, and they were all in the kitchen with my mom, laughing and talking. I had met the friends, and then retreated to hang out with my brothers. They didn't need me in the kitchen. What would I contribute anyway? Then I heard, "oh, she's in the other room. She's really shy." Meaning me. This from my outgoing, never-quiet sister who had no idea what her statement did to me. When I had to face the friends later at the dinner table, I felt like they were all thinking, "oh, that's the really shy sister. Better be kind and nice to her since she's 'different.' "
So in the future, if you come across someone who is quiet, don't assume they are shy, or stupid, or they can't think for themselves. (Some of us actually do more thinking, but less talking. When do the always-talking have time to think?) Be kind to us, but don't look down on us. Just be patient, and in time you may find that we can be really fun people, but we just have our guard up with strangers. And don't say we're shy.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Sometimes I want to Write
Sometimes I just want to write, and sometimes I want others to read it, but often I don't know who to give it to. Random essays on things going through my head aren't the sort of things I usually send to the family mailing list. But here you are and you are reading this. If I ever post something it will usually be on random subjects of things I do or don't like, but it will never be dirty or gross. That's just not my style, you know. So leave comments, but if I don't like them I'll delete them :-)
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