What Not to Say...

Things NOT to say to THIS pregnant woman:
1- When are you going to have your baby?  (I don't know!)
2- When are you due?  Are you overdue?  (No, some women just carry really far out, and I am one of those!)
3- Is it a girl or a boy?  (I thought I've told you already.  If not, I'm sure you've heard.)
4- Wow, you've just popped out all of a sudden!  (Really?  I've actually been showing for months!)
5- Every time I see you, you're bigger!  (Ya, really sensitive.)

If it wouldn't be rude or tacky, I wish I could just carry around a sign, and pass out fliers with this information:
1- I am due this month!  That's all you get to know.
2- It's a girl.
3- We don't know when she'll come.
4- No, we don't have a name picked out yet.
5- Yes, we're excited.

I learned from our first baby not to give out the exact due date.  Our first was 12 days late, so everyone who knew the due date would say something annoying every time I saw them.  Like, "oh, I thought you were due last week!"  (I was, thanks for reminding me!)  Or, "oh you poor thing, you're still pregnant!  Hang in there!"  (Well, what else can I do?)  "When is that baby going to come?"  (I DON'T KNOW!!)

Usually I think I'm an optimist, but pregnancy, and especially the last stages, make me feel more pessimistic than usual.  Being pregnant means being conspicuous, which is one thing I've always tried to avoid.  It's being at Wal-Mart, and hearing a woman say to her kids, "oh! (gasp) look at her!"  And pointing.  True story.  It's the annoying kid in primary (at church) that points at me and shouts "are you going to have a baby?" and makes everyone look.  Well really kid, did you think I was having a puppy?  No wonder women used to go into confinement before their child was born.  I would too if I could get away with it.

Apparently there was a woman from Tennessee on Yahoo news that didn't know she was pregnant until just hours before birth.  Of course, some of the intelligent Yahoo users that commented made stupid, insensitive remarks.  They're just idiots, because this lady is one of the luckiest people ever.  To not know you're pregnant means that no one is asking you about it all the time!  That's what I say.